i am unfinished

there's colonel dirty-fishy-dishcloth

thank you brenda for offering me your extra ticket to tori.  i had some apprehension (meeting my first blogger in real life since iphy last year), but it was soon gone.  and thanks for showing us the willow house, i think that will be a regular stop now.  you and your friends are so nice, and i'm glad you enjoyed the show, even though the songs were fairly obscure.  i hope you had as good a time as i did! 

everyone else:  check out the ditty bops.

(i obviously didn't take this.  it's on their photoblog.)

i.

_____,

i thought about you this sabbath, the day i've forgotten to remember.  the fact that i have to remember might explain the current state of mess in my head.  but i did think about you, though it was late in the afternoon, after a morning and noon of inner lament, of noticing in disgust the messy kitchen sink, unvacuumed floors, full garbage pails.  after i rolled my hair in hot curlers, sprayed, and then released the gold-brown locks, perfectly curled for no one at all.  after almost an entire day of watching netflix discs and getting hideously close to danger on the laptop.  oh yes, i did my homework as well.  it was easier than expected, but i still got angry and unreasonable when the upload site began having problems.  i walked away though.  walked away and made a grocery list, grabbed purse and keys, got five steps from the door and turned around, yet again pissed off at myself.  some track switched over inside me - just like that, mid-ride - and i resolved to make the bits and pieces of ingredients already stocked into something edible for the rest of the week.  and i found that if i inhale through my mouth while drinking, the water doesn't taste so bad. 

i didn't really think about you, consciously, while i cleaned the sink and emptied the cat box and garbages, nor even while i loaded the washer and dryer.  but your ears must have been ringing once the vacuuming found its rhythm.  i mean, at first my thoughts were all self-centered, as they most always are, but somewhere around the armchair, just before the couch, the lines on the carpet began to soothe, and you slipped in.  together we finished the laundry, created that strangely satisfying chicken-squash-orzo pasta with gravy-ish sauce dish, folded clothes and later, watched two old episodes of the sopranos.  (i know you were with me then, because i jumped at the first "hit.")

we went to sleep and woke up this morning, monday morning, and drove to work, only to come home and start over again.  you helped me find those words that stirred the hope again, and you were on the walk tonight where another one of your children reminded me that sometimes, i need to meet you half-way.

i know there will be times, like, tomorrow, when i feel alone - lonely and low again, but i also know you'll find a way to remind me - in lines on the carpet, that creme colored vw beetle i see on the highway, or in the first moments of the morning, when my bed has never felt so cozy. 

for the grace, i have no words.  for the reminders, my thanks are not enough, but i thank you anyway.

i'm ok with it, cupid.

Pure Nerd 69 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 43% Dork

"For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences [sic] associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations!" find out how you rate here.